Thursday, July 12, 2007
9:31 PM
Today is my last night here in Delta Wing. Spent most of the night saying my goodbyes to some people, mostly my old platoon mates. The last 3 months we spent together certainly counts for more than what words I could say, but I guess that's all I have for now. To them, and to the rest in support arms who just came back from Brunei, we have an appointment on December 15 so I hope until that day, I'll be the last person leaving haha.
Anyway I'm also glad that I managed to pray for 3 of my non-christian wing mates in camp today. Finally got motivated to start acting after Kayleigh shared her testimonial of VCF with me. Hopefully, they will be blessed by it and this will plant a seed which will open up into a bigger doorway to God in their lives. God can do miraculous acts from just small seeds of faith because its not how big our faith is, its how a big our God is =)
Anyway got infected with another really nice song today. Its called God of Wonders by Caedmon's Call. The lyrics don't really do justice to the song, it's a way that they sing and worship that really uplifts your spirits, and that's what I really like about this song.
God of Wonders
by Caedmon's Call
Lord of Heaven and Earth
(Lord of all creation)
Lord of Heaven and Earth
Lord of all creation
Of the water, earth and sky
The Heavens are your Tabernacle
Glory To the Lord on high
God of wonders
Beyond our galaxy
You are holy, holy
The universe
Declares your majesty
You are holy, holy
Early in the morning
I will celebrate the light
And when I stumble into darkness
I will call your name by night
Hallelujah (to the lord of heaven and earth)
Hallelujah (to the lord of heaven and earth)
Hallelujah (to the lord of heaven and earth)
Precious Lord,
Reveal your heart to me
Father hold me, hold me
The Universe
Declares your majesty
You are Holy, Holy
Holy, Holy
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty."
-Psalm 91:1 (ESV)
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
7:29 PM
As one short chapter of my slowly closes and another one opens, I can't help but wonder where God will lead me to in the next phase of my life. The 7 month stint in the army has brought me through a roller coaster ride of experiences and I've drifted away and drawn close to God on many occasions. It certainly has been a humbling experience and I certainly hope I won't let go of the lessons about trust, patience and surrender that God has taught me.
$426.74. That's the cost of these 7 months. Actually that's the cost I need to backpay the army before I disrupt this Friday. As a last parting gift, I was informed today that I had to make the payment by today. How befitting haha. It seems I have little affinity with the army (ever since the beginning where I received my enlistment letter 2 weeks before I enlisted). But at the end of the day, after all the bumps along the road, I thank God for the friendships forged and experiences gained.
Right now, I'm in a rather queer mood actually. Perhaps its due to the fact I'm coming to terms with what changes will be happening in my life in the not too distant future. A half nostalgia of sorts, because there are certainly plenty of things I won't be missing haha. Of course it's so much easier for me to say this because I've no longer been involved in training since last week. So away from the daily rush, the constant fatigue and the sense of uncertainty in the future, things do appear differently.
I guess that's it for today. I'm pretty tired (actually I've been quite tired the past few days) even though I've been sleeping quite a bit. Time to soak in and let the melody of God stir in your soul =) I shall end with a prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray you keep the hearts of the people turned to you. Watch over them Lord, and bless them; that even in tough and difficult times they will not falther but instead walk boldly to face their challenges in Your infallable strength. I pray too you take control of my life oh Lord, that you set my heart on eternity and not on things of this earth; that I may walk neither left nor right but rather set my sights on You Lord. Father, pour out a fresh anointing of your spirit and let Your hands continue to mold and shape this child of Yours, that you will use me Lord, to glorify and exhalt Your name all the days of my life.
In Jesus' name I pray.
10:50 AM
It finally came! The official letter from MINDEF authorising me to collect my Pink IC from CMPB on Friday. Praise God! I'm really thankful now, relieved and happy too. Everything is finally settled and I can move on now with my life as a whole now.
Actually on hindsight, these few days haven't been a total waste. God has been leading me to learn how to be patient and how to trust Him, even when things don't seem to be going your way. Just as I started to let go, to trust Him, and stopped bugging LTA Faizal for news regarding my disruption and instead started trusting God's perfect timing, the letter came. I've been through some downs (letting doubt and fear consume me), but God has drawn me out of them, to know Him all the more a bit better and I'm thankful for that. Besides, I'm also getting paid haha, so it might not be such a bad deal after all. =P
God is faithful, and He'll never let you go no matter however bad the situation seems. We'd all do well to continue learning this and more importantly, knowing and keeping this truth in our hearts.
"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you."
-Isaiah 26:3 (ESV)
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
10:41 PM
Really like this song. Heard it on Yahoo! LaunchCast Contemporary Christian Station (yes there actually is such a station and it does play some nice songs). Haven't really seen any of the band's albums in Singapore though, maybe I have to look harder.
O Praise Him (All This For A King)
by David Crowder Band
Turn your ear
To Heaven and hear
The noise inside
The sound of angels awe
The sound of angels songs
And all this for a King
We could join and sing
'All to Christ our King!'
How constant
How divine
This song of ours will rise
Oh, how constant
How divine
This love of ours will rise
Will rise...
CHORUS:
Ohh praise Him!
Ohh praise Him!
He is Holy!
He is Holy!
Turn your gaze
To Heaven and raise
A joyous noise
Oh the sound of salvation come
The sound of rescued ones
And all this for a king
Angels join to sing
'All for Christ our King!'
How infinite and sweet
This love so rescuing
Oh how infinitely sweet
This great love that has redeemed
As one, we sing...
Hallelujah,
Hallelujah
He is Holy,
He is Holy
6:54 PM
So it seems I finally decided to report sick today. I've been down with flu for the last week or so, but I've been avoiding reporting sick/seeing the doctor simply because its too troublesome and the MO/staff there aren't exactly the most cheerful or friendly bunch of people you could come across. It seemed however, that my cough and constant sneezing had plagued me relentlessly the night and morning before and I couldn't stand it anymore.
The MO turned out to be the one whom I'd seen the last time I reported sick. Not sure if he recognized me but well, he was his usual cold, irritable self. I guess this is the result of being forced into a job he may not particularly like doing. I pray that God keeps me from hardening my heart; that when I come back to serve the remaining of my national service as a MO, I won't walk down the same path he did.
Spent most of the day reading Gunslinger by Stephen King which I had borrowed from the library. Here's the cover:
I'm enjoying the book so far, only thing I really have against it is that it gets quite confusing. I'm more than 3/4s the way through the book but King has hardly revealed any information regarding the backdrop, motives of the various characters and even information about the world the story takes place in. King also takes full use of his artistic license to express himself, but I do enjoy his complex writing style even if it does lose you at parts.
Today I went to try the fabled 鸡蛋面 located at the Cadet Mass and I'm glad to say it lived up to its reputation down to every last sauce-soaked noodle. It was a thoroughly enjoyable dinner, the only thing stopping me from patronizing the stall regularly in the future is the large number of officers who dine there. It would be extremely troublesome to explain my situation (no student pass, alone by myself, being excused from training) should any officer question me about it and I wish to avoid that situation if possible. It is also precisely this reason why I don't feel like using the sports facilities available.
I also happened to drop my room keys while having dinner there and only found out when I returned to wing line. Thank God I found them still present when I went back (I had no idea where I had dropped them to begin with). Sometimes I wonder why God allows things like this to happen in the first place but I guess He has His own purposes and we should just trust that He knows best. Regardless, as long as we keep walking in the centre of His will, we can walk assuredly and confidently even if we can't understand everything, simply because our God is a great God. =)
"Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus."
-Philippians 2:5 (ESV)
Monday, July 9, 2007
12:32 PM
It seems that I have finally started blogging again. The last time I made an attempt at blogging seems like eons ago. A lot of things have changed since then; quite a bit has happened in this 2 1/2 years or so and I've come to become a different person; perhaps a bit more mature, a bit more sensible. Who knows? The only thing I can say for sure is that God is going to continue molding me into a better person and the best times are ahead.
Okay, so right now I'm still stuck in camp. OCS Delta Wing. I got half a floor to myself, with the other half of the floor being cordoned off for female accommodations. God's grace has granted me entry into Medicine this year, so for the last week I've been waiting for my disruption notice to come.
Getting into medicine itself was a rather traumatic experience. With getting rejected, feeling crushed and then moving on with life to getting a call from NUS all of a sudden. Apparently they had a slot and I was in. =) Thank God! I know I really don't deserve it but really we're all sinners saved my grace. On hindsight, God was really teaching me to learn to trust Him and depend on Him, a lesson a really, really need to learn. That then leads me to where I'm now.
The late admission notice meant I wasn't disrupting with the rest. Basically my instructors excused me from training so I was left alone. Haha and when I say that, I really mean it. No first parade, no RO, no falling in, nothing. I can walk around the whole compound and no one would really bother me. Good and bad I guess? I was (and still am) rotting in bunk nothing more. Last week it was kind of depressing due to these two reasons:
1. Only 8 people from the second batch are suppose to be disrupting (according to the lady at CMPB)
2. You'll only know you're disrupting if they tell you
So as the days go by, I was losing faith and getting depressed and worried. I was basically killing myself over it and that was really stupid. Here I was, perfectly fine, so blessed, so loved that the Son on the King died for me and I was rotting my life away because of the possibility I can't disrupt? Fortunately, God woke me up and I realized how idiotic I was being. What would I do without Him man.
Truly, if we do not have faith and dwell in the negative, we will just get what we believe - all the failures that we so fear. God is faithful indeed. Just today, just as I started believing Him and trusting Him again, things have started moving. I received the letter from NUS stating my acceptance in 2007 and LTA Faizal just told me I should be disrupting on the 15th. Praise God for this! God's continuing His lesson He started earlier and I will believe I'm learning how to trust Him more and more. =)
Keep praying for me, not just that I'll be able to disrupt, but that in the time I have left in camp, I can do something for God. That I can be a blessing to the people here. I only perhaps have a vague idea of what I can possibly do, but I'll see where the spirit moves me to.
Remember His goodness. Keep trusting!
"For the thing that I fear comes upon me, and what I dread befalls me."
-Job 3:25 (ESV)
